When do we feel nervous ?

An act of selfishness makes us feel nervous. ummm?
1. There are hundred different things you can do for your well-being and your own happiness. That is certainly not defined as a selfish act.
2. You can do something to yourself just because some one wants you to do so. Even then its not so bad, because its just self sacrifice you do for your happiness.
3. Some times we get trapped between two different people, where you want one to act to the desire of the other. This is really selfish, and causes nervousness either ways.

Snow in London on these days

 Let me tell you a story, this is not the real incident, its an imaginary story based on the real incident.,
        One of my most loved friend form school days(P) wants my other close friend(K) to attend gym classes. This is the mistake which I did. I insisted (K) to attend the classes because I wanted to impress (P). I knew (K) was least bit interested. Now I am worried that (K) is not listening to me and (P) would not be very happy with me. Then over time I am also worried that I am imposing something on (K) just because I wanted to impress (P). In both cases, even if (K) attends or not, it creates nervousness in me. and has resulted in this stupid blog!

So........ never ask any one to do something to make someone else happy. I was asking myself, 'If someone does it to you how angry will you feel?' hence, No.1 is fully accepted, No.2 is still OK but No.3 never do in life...!

Happiness is within ME!

Hyde Park_London( Photo:Dinesh_me)

Happiness is within me, I just understood the whole concept based on which it works. Its so very scenic everywhere around you. Where ever you are there is a thing of beauty somewhere around. Its your own discretion to go around and find it. ' A thing of beauty is a joy for ever '. And its that thing of beauty that kindles the happiness in me....!

Truth is boring !!!

           Speaking the truth always is the most difficult thing to do in this world. At the same time, truth is also the most boring thing ever. I am used to telling lies, just to make the person sitting near me a bit more happy. Then to maintain that lie, a whole lot of interesting drama happens. In this regard, recently I had a conversation with him, which is worth while recording and sharing...!

 Control and manage human existence in this world?

           When you don't speak the truth, a negative emotion called guilt comes into existence, which is usually  accompanied by another one called fear. . . ! To surpass these negatives in a easier way, my grand mother usually preaches me 'always speak the truth, truth is next to god!'. This is when he asked me the question 'What do you call as truth? what do you consider as truth in this existence?' According to me, Truth is what ever is real, happening, fact and numbers. I thought for a second, I could not explain truth in more realistic terms. We always need an example to explain things, don't we? but he asked me not to explain this using examples..! 

           Then, he told me, 'Truth is what you believe in. Not every thing in the world can be quantified, proved. Most of the things, we can only just believe. When you hear from people, read from books, see in action; we just believe things and imagine that it is real.' And according to me what ever is real is the truth, but then he tells 'its all that you have believed'. Looks like both of us are in the same plane, but after that he told. ' by practice you can start to believe any thing and then your truth becomes different from my truth.' This is when I got baffled, many new questions...

Have I believed in what he just told,? (is it the truth?)
If what he says is true, then is truth not a unanimous thing? (is it different depending on our beliefs?)
Do all these negative emotions like fear and guilt need to be associated with truth? (specially when its not unanimous)
Or are these emotions just used by almighty to control and manage human existence in this world? ( by just making you believe that you are lying... )

Lathams Architects - Job - day one experience

We were a bit late, so decided to take the 'indigo' bus from savoy to QMC. Reached QMC and waited for the red arrow bus in which  Richard was already in. He takes the bus from the main coach station. Kalpesh and me take the same bus at Qmc, which is the next stop. We reached derby and decided to stop at Mc Donalds for breakfast. As a matter of fact we were running late, and richard was getting restless. We entered the office 15 seconds late on the first day. I was the one who rung the calling bell and I dint know steve's surname and there was a lady who asked, who we were looking for?, Richard helped me this time. Some how we managed to meet steve and he showed us our work stations and he gave us drawings of five different projects which we need to work on. We made chits and picked up lots to decide who works on which project. I got the Hightfield house, Kalpesh got the denby house and richard got the derick's house project. The pay roll needs to be sorted out, other than that things are all fine. Office was a old chapel converted into an office, with great interiors.

We went to 'burger king' for lunch. Kalpesh had some coupons for 'burger king', yet I had spent more than £10/- on day one for travel and food, which is not very good. It was raining, we had one umbrella between both of us. I dint have a proper formal jacket, which is a worry. I managed to carry a rain coat. We were reading the drawings and we started to make the autocad models. Steve asked if the sketchup models could be reused for the day-lighting analysis. But no, Richard said 'definitely not'. I tried to, but it was a big a big hassle, so no no ..... Thats when we decided to call it a day and walked back to the bus station and took a red arrow back to Nottingham at 5.35pm which reaches Qmc at 6.15pm. We walked 20 minutes from there to home. Mihir says that he has got more than 150 rejections till date for all the job applications that he has made randomly. Even Rinesh backs up what Mihir just told. I have not yet applied for jobs properly. Today, I decided not to go to ASDA to get the new shirt as I would manage, wearing the brown shirt that I had brought from India, for work tomorrow.

Evening I went to Forest fields leisure centre at 9.10pm for swimming. I spent some time at the sauna as well. It was a bit late but a real good experience :). As long as I enjoy this and as long as I burn enough calories I am happy. Still I have got some pain in the legs as a result of heavy workout yesterday, hence I decided to skip the gym session earlier. Cycled bak home. Rinesh, yamini and Mihir had cooked dinner. Food & Friends -TV serial on Rinesh's laptop(2 episodes) is a nice combo. Casual chats among we 5 and went up to my room, slept off....! got work tomorrow. good night!

My day - 8th June 2010 ( some pages from my dairy )

Yet another, Love on the spot story!

I was listening to my friend shiva say with full josh..., 'He proposed to her the very next day she joined college. He was one year senior to her, and he decided to propose to her the day he saw her. She liked that attitude in him and she accepted... now they are in love' I could see the glow in shiva's eyes...! , 'ya..., unbelievable da...'we were looking at her photos in fb, ya she was cute, in fact very cute.... humm! we looked at each other.' No more chance for you mappi, forget it.' 'ya...'  umm....

AmyJackson - Model

Dont we hear this every other day, said by every other person. Every single person wants this to happen in their college life. isn't it? We saw it happen in VA, suriya proposed to Simran and Megna Naidu as soon as he saw her. He says, ' I just fell in love, I was crazy in love', shabaaaa....!

Is it how it really happens? Do you know your soulmate in a spark, the very second you see her? In that case, this kind of a spark happened to me loads of many times..., If I go behind all those girls proposing will it not look real weird? Or should you give it a shot every time you get this in your mind!? How long will this last? for ever? nah....

I don't believe in this, it doesn't seem real. If I get a chance, I will call that guy and ask him to consult a psychiatrist! I would tell him, "There is something wrong in the way your brain is functioning."

Or, may be these words of mine, are coming out of jealousy and envy, that such a thing din't happen in my life... yet!   Lol ;) ?   ha ha ...!

What can dirty money do to you?

Amir Bowling the disgusting No-Ball at Lords

Is there some thing called dirty money?

The recent allegations against the Pakistani cricketers.... They took money to bowl no balls in a test match at lords against England. What can 3 no-balls do to a test match? In a test match, there are almost 600 balls bowled per day and around 3000 balls bowled in 5 days of test match. 3 balls is just 0.1% of the game (fixed), and never changes flow of the game. None of the side could possibly win or loose a match because of these 3 balls .... an average cricket fan like me is least bit bothered about these 3 balls.

But, shocking news is the amount of money involved in bowling these 3 balls(under performing) is £ 160,000/- . Any Normal fan in Pakistan, following cricket can not earn this kind of money even in 2 of their lifetimes put to-gather! Hoe will a captain concentrate on winning, if he is concentrating on, these no-balls ( as per the fix)? Shame, shame and shame.... look at where greed can take you..!

My question to salman batt,

• If u are born to be a cricketer in Pakistan, that itself is a greatest boon, isn't it?
• Don't you get loads of money any-ways?
• Why do you need this dirty money which will cost you the rest of your life?

And this is for you Amir...

         God gives talent, skill and fame. Along with it he gives all the opportunity to screw it. There are loads of people out here asking god for the skill talent and the opportunity to perform. Those prayers are never answered. Instead god takes someone else to the top, but when you are on the top, stay really careful, there are loads of people out here who will wait to laugh at you, seeing you fall (like this) !

"Helping yourself" - is it defined as an act of selfishness?

Learn to be selfish!

Imagine, you are swimming in the sea. You can swim well, but the sea currents are too high and its difficult.... There is another person near you who who cant swim well, is in a much more difficult situation than you and is almost drowning to death. You are sure that you can save yourself by swimming towards shore. You are not sure if you can help the person who is drowning to reach shore along with you, but if you leave him where he is now, he will certainly die because there is nobody around who could save him. now, what are you supposed to do...?

# If you decide to leave him alone and you reach shore safe, is it considered to be an act of selfishness?

# Don't you have to save yourself before you could save others?

# Is it a good idea to drown along with him?

# When you yourself are drowning, how can you help someone else?

# Do you have to carry the guilt with you, because you din't risk your life to save him?

# Isn't it the other person's fault that he dint learn to swim in sea waters, to save himself?

I really don't understand where the line between selfishness and helpfulness really lies?

If you help someone and as a result which you fail to reach your destination, would you feel good for what you have done to yourself?

Isn't it better to stand responsible for your own actions and help yourself rather than trying to help others ?

After a deep thought, I feel it would be perfect if every one helps himself in this world. Live and die only for your own actions deeds and thoughts, rather than looking up to someone else for help!

Do we really need to hate it ?

I am always wanting to change from who I am now. A philosopher once told me that loosing identities will make you feel secure and happy.

Does it mean that people around you, things you are associated with and things you own should keep changing?

Which means, should we need to be running away from things you are associated with in regular succession?

On the other hand, listening to philosophers and saints is a stupid idea, because they themselves have no idea what they are talking about.

Friends at home, Nottingham - my Birthday, 2010

Do we really need to hate something if we are moving away from it? There is a hazard that we may miss it later after moving away from it...., so is it a better idea to condition the mind telling how much we hate something before we move away from it. So that we ll never have a chance of missing it any further and look for something new with a full new thought and mind co-ordination.

haaaa....After a deep thought, I feel that..., some things can never be shed off, can never forget, will always miss.... we can try to blame it and curse it and pretend that its sour, but it never goes off your mind. It pains, it hurts but that is the real pleasure and happiness. The more of such precious things you find in life, the more happier you will become.... I dedicate this to my dear friends in Nottingham Mihir, kalpesh, rinesh, yamini, pranav and agam! 

Embrace INDIA, An appeal....

This is a stupid blog.. dont read this.......... This is truly Insane! Independence day special...

We had a general chat among friends here in UK, When we look at India from here in UK, it looks mighty. But how did our forefathers (350 years back) loose their Independence to a small group of shrewd people? Were they seduced by a group of white women (operation India) ? Dint they know that, loosing their independence means; loosing power, loosing wealth & respect. when they were ripped off naked they kept quite, and today the small group owns it all and still are greedy. . . !?

I ve seen politics in India for the past 15 long years. After seeing all the silly fight and politicians not addressing the local and basic problems, I had always told to myself several times, "Stay away from India....". I felt its all dirty and corrupt. I thought it is not a good place to live. But,

Here, Living among the world's most shrewd people in UK for the past 2 years, I understand that i am not that selfish, to put up with all that's happening here and just keep away from India. Looking at USA, China, UK, Russia, Europe & Germany ..... who don't mind their 'own business' ( look at the research funding in UK, just to know what's happening in India...), I feel India is much better... we just pick up silly fights among ourselves. Unlike others we are not digging the rest of the world's grave to ensure that we can call ourselves 'happy'.

Yes, we have basic problems. Pollution, caste, religion, scarcity, poverty, struggle, violence, rage, money & infrastructure. We have all the above mentioned problems, but we still make a life ourselves, and eat our own food, is't it? We can feel happy for one single thing, 'we over work for our rice'.

Our forefathers were not rich men. They were ripped off by a group of 'intelligent' people. This has been the prayer of the past generation, none of the research can reveal the future, not even get close to it. India has all good reasons to become the superpower. God has to answer the prayers of a Billion.

Today's real problem is, some of the idiots who are in Indian politics should back off. We need good leaders, all intelligent people come forward and lead us, we are ready to give you the power, lead us in the path of prosperity. Look at us, 'we are a mighty ocean....'

Jai ho...!

Well done Nottingham

I was thinking what has Nottingham done to me, My last few days in Nottingham....

• When I stepped into Nottingham during Sept 2008, I was 23, and now its Aug 2010 and I am 25
• I have gained 8Kgs, I used to be 72Kgs when I stepped into Nottingham and now, I am 80Kgs.
• Got a bunch of new friends, I have completed my masters in environmental design.
• Understood seasons much better than ever before.
• Visited London open house to see the architectural marvels of London.
• Experienced my first snow fall ever, twice in 2 yrs now...
• Got my first ever Laptop.
• Saw my first ever cricket match live in a stadium, saw Dhoni and his team live in action.
• Met Sadguru jakki vasudev live in his speech at Nottingham.
• My fist ever teaching experience in the University of Nottingham.
• Got my first ever gear bike, and enjoyed riding bicycles all over the year, in all seasons.
• Experienced so called 'English summers'.

Still to come, I am thinking.........and more to come..........!